People are urged to report and rarely told what reporting does. That gap is why so many decide nothing at all: not because they have chosen silence, but because every option feels like it might take the decision out of their hands.
So this page describes the routes plainly, including the ones that have nothing to do with a law firm. You can use one, several or none of them, in any order, and using one does not commit you to the others.
If it happened in the last few days
One thing here is genuinely time-limited, and it is worth knowing even if you decide against everything else:
- A forensic examination has a time window. Hospitals can carry one out, and in many places it can be done without you deciding whether to involve the police. It preserves evidence and keeps options open rather than closing them.
- Medical care is separate from any of that. You can be treated for injury, infection and pregnancy risk without agreeing to an examination or a report.
- Preserving things helps but is not required. Clothing, messages, a note of what happened and when. If those are already gone, that does not end anything.
If you want someone with you for this, a hospital can usually arrange an advocate, and the hotline below can too. You do not have to do it alone and you do not have to decide anything else first.
The routes, and what each one sets in motion
- Police. A criminal investigation is run by the state, which decides whether to charge. You are a witness rather than the person in control of it, and it can take a long time. It can also be the route that stops someone else being harmed.
- A hospital or doctor. Medical care and, if you want it, a forensic examination. Treatment is available whether or not you report to anyone.
- Child protective services, where a child is currently at risk. This is about protecting a child now rather than about a claim.
- A licensing board, where the person is a doctor, therapist, massage therapist or other licensed professional. A board can investigate and discipline, and its actions are generally public. It cannot compensate you.
- An institution — a school, employer, university or organization. Its process decides what it does about a person. It is not a court, and its outcome does not bind a civil claim either way.
- A lawyer. A civil claim is the only route whose purpose is compensating you, and the only one you control. It requires none of the others, and for abuse in childhood there is no filing deadline under the Child Victims Act.
- Nobody yet. Talking to a hotline, a counselor or a friend is a legitimate first step and forecloses nothing.
One thing worth knowing before you tell someone
Some people are mandated reporters — teachers and school staff, healthcare workers, childcare staff, and others. If you tell them about a child who is currently at risk, they are required to pass it on. That is not a betrayal; it is the obligation they work under.
It matters only because people are sometimes surprised by it. If you want to talk something through without setting anything in motion, a hotline, a counselor or a lawyer is a better first conversation than a teacher or a doctor.
Speaking to us is confidential and starts nothing. Nothing is filed because you called.
If you never report it to anyone
A civil claim does not require a police report, criminal charges, a conviction, or a complaint to anyone. Many people bring one having reported to nobody, sometimes decades later, and that is ordinary rather than exceptional.
Delayed disclosure is well documented and is not treated as evidence that something did not happen. Nor is deciding at the time that you wanted to get on with your life.
If you are reporting for a child
Write down what the child has already said, in their own words, and then avoid repeated questioning. Trained interviewers do this once, in a structured way, usually at a child advocacy center — repeated questioning can genuinely alter a young child's account and is the first thing a defense will raise.
Tell them you believe them and that they are not in trouble. That is all that is needed from you in the moment. Our elementary school and child sexual abuse pages go through this in more detail.
Support, whichever route you choose
The national sexual assault hotline is 800-656-4673, available at any hour, free and confidential. They can talk through options without you deciding anything, and can often connect you with a local service or an advocate who will come with you.
If you are not ready, that is a complete answer. Nothing on this page is a reason to act before you are.
